Baby, I love you dearly, but you're totally helpless (hopeless?). You just recently 'celebrated' your thirtieth birthday (not much celebrating being done on July 7th this year, I know, but I'll make it up to you. I promise), and yet anyone who knew you as well as I do would be absolutely astounded at your secret geriatric lifestyle, and then, knowing that, they would be amazed that you have even made it this far!
You take high blood pressure medication. You go to bed at 8pm every night. You are deaf as a post. You gripe and groan about your constant aches and pains. You are so frail that it even hurts to stretch. You are almost totally inept when it comes to caring for yourself. Today, not five minutes ago, you told me that you think you needed to start eating soft foods. ...SOFT FOODS???
Oh your secret is out, pal... I'm exposing you for what you really are. It's a toss-up between 'old man' and 'baby hamster...' I am undecided. At any rate, you are getting an ear trumpet for Christmas this year. Just so you know.
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| Thanks to Bing Wong for this awesome pic of me and my sweetheart! |
You sure are cute though... and I love you with every fibre of my being... no foolin'...
(No hard feelings, baby... don't shoot the messenger... ha ha)
Maybe he's like Benjamin Button?
ReplyDeleteSoon he'll be racing around on a 2 wheeler and you'll be looking for your walker and wondering where the time went!
Soft foods ?? seriously ? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ReplyDeleteJason has decided he's falling apart too, but he's still in the sore all the time grump phase. Can't wait -- sounds like the best is yet to come :p
I love you two .. you're great ♥
Great. Now everyone can publicly cut the 'old man' up.
ReplyDeleteI made the soft foods comment because I have had a toothache recently. (for a week, to be honest)
I have cracked ribs on both sides of my body... muscle damage still pains me everyday...
you'd feel old too Mrs. Archer...
Between me and the rest of the worldwide web though... I lay it on thick just to bug your ass... so deal with it cutie pie... HAHAHA
I love you sweetheart.
It looks as though the time has come to start my own blog... I must defend my honour!! haha
Awwww....Matthew - we love you.
ReplyDeleteAnd your funny little ways.
And YES!
ReplyDeleteYou should also start a blog.
LoL .. if it is ANY consolation; Space is falling apart too. Soon we will ALL be there ... crumbling away ...:D
ReplyDeleteI hope your tooth feels better .. and your torso :p
whine whine whine gripe gripe gripe... if you are looking for sympathy, don't bother.
ReplyDeletetooth pain... pfft... he's had this 'tooth pain' for years and won't go to the dentist.
..and he cracked those ribs doing foolish things while drunk, like trying to slide down the banister at Union Station and falling ribs-first on the concrete staircase instead... and running through a field after field cars and wrapping his torso around a log...
get out your tiny violin, Mr. Archer... here, wait, let me get it out for you... I keep it handy since you like to play it so often...
zing
(...and as for keeping your own blog goes, bring it on!! I'll write you under the table any day of the week, grandpa... oooooooh...)
also:
ReplyDeleteblog = dealing with it
ta-da! lol
Hahahaha..love it all!
ReplyDelete